CZT 32 and It’s a String Thing 257

Welcome to The Tireless Tangler everyone! It is time for this week’s “It’s a String Thing” challenge number 257! This week was a special treat for me as Adele Bruno chose CZT, Jody Genovese’s new Tangle “Twilight“. Jody is very special to me and I had planned to give twilight a try but hadn’t had a chance. Adele gave me the perfect chance this week and I was thrilled!

Here’s my tile! Awesome Tangle Jody! So many possibilities! 💜

Finally, I have the most amazing news! Last week, I thought my dream of attending CZT 32 in October was lost. I still had $900.00 to  raise. I didn’t think I could possibly do it by my August 26, deadline. Then Monday, a CZT who’d already donated sent in $150. A few small donations trickled in but on Tuesday I wrote Zentangle apologizing but canceling my spot. On Wednesday, I contacted my donors to let them know that I wouldn’t be able to attend. I was short about $600. Thursday was full of craziness, my son had a serious problem at school but Facebook was lighting up and the donations started to roll in. My brother made another donation and I was almost there, just $300 to go. God sent an angel in the form of a CZT I knew from the Zentangle ® Mosaic App. She and her wife donated the rest of it! It took another 24 hours for the stunned feeling to wear off!

I am humbled, and so grateful for each and every donor, for all the well wishes and supportive words! About 2 weeks ago, I was scammed for a small amount by someone saying they wanted to help. I could not believe that people were willingly preying on the needy. My faith in humanity took a hit. This week all of you showed me there is hope and goodness still in the world and it lives in the Zentangle community!

Thank you all for your kindness and support! 💜 CZT 32 here I come! 😍 I can’t believe my dream is actually coming true! Stay tuned for more CZT stories and be prepared to travel with me! No way I’m not shooting pics from training for you all!

It’s a String Thing #255

Welcome everyone! It’s been 2 weeks since my last post. Unfortunately, I’m struggling hard with depression. I’ve been drawing and creating but unable to write. Last week’s challenge sat unfinished and I was never able to complete it. So, I was determined to finish this week and hit back. Thank goodness for tangling!

This week’s challenge was a mix of struggle and sublime as we were given a grid pattern, Flog, by Angie Gittles, CZT, and the organic Konk, by Lori Manoogian, CZT. Naturally, given my affinity for the organic, I loved Konk and struggled with Flog. I decided to incorporate Flog into the embellishments and voilà! I used a technique from gem queen, Amanda Rose Rambo, @vitruvianart, with the orbs incorporating Derwent Inktense for the dappled effects. Then, because of Lori Manoogian’s explanation published on TanglePatterns.com, with a picture of a Conch shell, I had beaches on the mind and gave the background a golden brown sand color. Strange how the mind translates input! As always, you can join the challenge at Adele Bruno’s blog, Tickledtotangle.blogspot.com. Here’s my tile!

I am forced to share now that I don’t believe I will achieve my financial goal in time to attend CZT 32 in October. The deadline for my final payment is August 26th, just 2 weeks away. To say I’m discouraged is a huge understatement. I’ll be contacting Zentangle ®, Inc this week about what options I might have for next year. I will also be contacting my donors individually with an update. I cannot express my gratitude for all who offered either financial or emotional support! I am so close but I don’t have the ability to make up the balance. It’s a frustrating situation but I will come through stronger than ever. The campaign will run up to August 25th.

https://www.gofundme.com/Send-me-to-CZT32?pc=ot_co_dashboard_a&rcid=c55e866fda7d40f182c4b9b08d7871b7

Independence Day with It’s a String Thing 250!

I’ve completed my IAST challenge early this week as the challenge was Independence Day themed for those in the USA. As I have needed to crawl under my bed for weeks this time of year, I decided to post today before my eventual hiding takes place. Here is my tile. A heartfelt congratulations go out to Adele Bruno at Tickledtotangle.blogspot.com. This is her 250th challenge!

This is the most difficult holiday for me to handle. 2 years ago, a young man I loved as a son, took his own life setting in place a heart breaking series of events. A month later, his girlfriend took her life and 2 weeks after that I lost a dear friend to suicide. This was the worst year, worst pain, worst losses I’ve experienced. 2 years later, I have very few answers and I’m still very angry. I’m saying this in a public forum to share these few thoughts.

First, suicide is a huge guilt trip for those left behind. We go over and over events wondering how we could have changed things or said something different to save them. Most of the time, we couldn’t have changed it and we have to remember that their choices were not ours. We couldn’t have stopped them. I need to remind myself daily of this!

Second, the pain is something I try to deal with but can’t. It does dull a bit over time but is right there roaring back to consume me at any moment.

Last, it is okay to be angry at their choices. I hope this is true as that is still the way I feel most days.

If someone is telling you they want to make that choice, don’t wait. Call a hotline, get help, take advice from doctors. Do NOT wait and hope for the best. Whether or not they are serious, get help. The National Suicide Prevention Hotline is tel:1-800-273-8255

If you have lost a loved one to suicide, find some useful information here.

Rest In Peace my beautiful Sean.

It’s A String Thing 246!

Hi everyone! Welcome to The Tireless Tangler! It’s been a slow week with no Diva Challenge, but Adele Bruno at Tickledtotangle.blogspot.com, gave me a wonderful gift with this week’s challenge! CZT, Helen Williams, was a strong influence when I first started drawing. Her organic style really speaks to me and I am a big fan of Helen’s Tangles! This week’s challenge was to try out Helen’s new video “String Grid.”

Here are 2 of my many, many tiles. I’m addicted! I challenge you all to give it a try!

A quick note for everyone. I’ve got a tough anniversary coming up in a few weeks. I’ve already noticed that I am struggling to concentrate and dwelling on things a bit too much. I want to promise I will be able to force my way through this tough time without a break, but I can’t. If for some reason I am unable to post for a while, I will let you know. I can promise I’ll be back. Hang in there with me! Thanks for understanding!

About Me!

Hello everyone! Welcome to my website, thetirelesstangler.com! My name is Cyndee Pelley and I am the voice of this site. It is my hope that you will find this site useful and informative, but also meaningful! There are a lot of Zentangle sites around and most of them are amazing places. One of the things that makes this site special, I believe, is the artist focus posts. These written pieces about the life of the artist, mixed with the beauty of their art are often inspirational to me. I feel by sharing these things together we peek into the souls of these wonderful people. This leaves me feeling deeply privileged!  The lives they touch and their personal philosophy can make you think twice about your pain or how tough life is for you, yourself! I know I’ve been personally humbled to know the people with whom I’ve spoken. Art has become my passion and I’m excited and driven to share something special!I have written, to date, 12 focus articles. The first on an amazing artist from the Zentangle®️ Mosaic App, Sarah Fowler, in the United Kingdom, but I also have written of artists from Spain, Canada, South Africa and Taiwan to name a few! I’ve realized this is something important I’m meant to do. I hope you will agree! A special thanks to each of the artists who’ve given their time and shared their art! 

I also haven’t arrived here without a lot of encouragement from the wonderful Zentangle®️ Mosaic App community. CZT, Ellie Miller, Sarah Fowler, CZT, Terri Delaune, CZT, Jody Genovese, CZT, Laura Story, and so many more have all had a hand in giving me the courage to take this step! My life has literally been transformed by the caring support and encouragement of these people! I’m truly blessed! 

So, about me!😊 I’m 56 years old and I’m a single mom of an 8-year-old boy. I’m an artist (you have no idea how hard it is to say that but it’s getting easier!), and a blogger. I’m also completely disabled with a degenerative spinal disease that has left me with nerve damage on my left side. This makes walking straight and not falling down a nice surprise every day! 😚 2 years ago, I lived in my room and didn’t leave the house. I was seriously depressed and hopeless. I felt without purpose and that I was a burden on others. I knew I needed help because I was in a dark emotional place. I signed up for a counselor and I’ve seen her ever since. My beautiful German Rottweiler, Simba, keeps me smiling! He never lets me sit too long without a break and is always encouraging me with his love and attention. He may never work as a public access service dog but he definitely qualifies as one as he can help me stand and walk straight. No words about me are complete without him in my life. 

Here’s my best friend and companion, Simba!

 Image of service dog, Simba Image of service dog simba outside

My first sketchpad was dedicated to my counselor because it was she who put me on this journey. We have tangled together a couple of times because I feel it’s so important she be aware of the positive effect of Zentangle for others like me she may come across in her practice!

Skip the adult coloring phase and go to drawing my own pictures (although I learned a LOT about colored pencils and blending.) I was drawing a dragon for the grandkids and wanted a pattern to put on her wing. You may notice she is unfinished because here I found Zentangle!

Color dragon by Cyndee Pelley

Fast forward through Pinterest and to TanglePatterns.com and there I found the Zentangle®️ Method! How that moment fundamentally changed me. I began drawing patterns about 18 to 20 hours a day. This is how my blog was named. Drawing became my sole focus. It was like a dam burst and suddenly I was free! My art wasn’t very mature (still isn’t) but it’s improving! Here’s the first thing I uploaded to Mosaic.

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This is called a ZIA (Zentangle Inspired Art). Meaning it’s a mix of patterns and ideas based on the Zentangle Method but not conforming to the structure and rules of it. Like adding color.

My next pivotal moment was reading Dr. and CZT, Ellie Miller’s blog post (tanglesxm.com) about the Zentangle Primer, vol. 1 and why it was the best Zentangle purchase she had made. I finally spent some precious cash and there, I truly began to understand the Zentangle®️ Method. It is a method and not just for drawing. My most important attitude shift happened with this beautiful book, whose dustcover had to be removed because I was using it constantly. 

My first Zentangle Primer lesson. wp-1489265276348.jpg

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My second try! After this, my addiction to Zentangle and art were permanent! After, buying Eni Oken’s books and joining Eni Oken’s Art Club, I am finally courageous enough to say “I’m an artist”. 

Last year, I experienced the tragedy of suicide, 3 times in 6 weeks. It was months before I was calm enough to draw, much less write this blog. I didn’t think I’d survive. But I kept trying, thanks to my counselor and the Zentangle community, I’m back and determined not to give up. My life is unrecognizable from last year at this time. It is always filled with adversity but I have managed to find my joy again thanks to Zentangle and the support I can always find with you, my dear readers! 💔 Thank you for making my life rich and full again. Each of you is dear to me!

This is my disclosure section: unfortunately, I now need one, but it is a sign of progress. 

I am currently an affiliate marketer for Amazon (US) but i hope to add the UK, CA, and DE.

I’m also an affiliate marketer for Eni Oken’s Art Club. 

What does affiliate marketing mean? Basically that I host ads for things I think are useful to the artistic community, or, as with Eni Oken’s Art Club, I may earn a small commission if you join art club using the link on my website, or make a purchase on Amazon using my link.

I am in the process of branding this website. Making choices in how I want it to look and be set up. Please give me your feedback if you love or hate anything. If something doesn’t work, I want to know so I can fix it! It will probably undergo several transformations before I’m happy with it. I would ask your patience for my growing pains. I want to switch to a business plan and I need to figure this out before I begin offering anything. Being an affiliate may help pay for some of my costs moving forward. 

Most important is to tell you that this site and blog are mine. The decisions on what to write and what to say are solely mine. Neither Amazon.com nor Enioken.com is responsible or liable in any way for my words or mistakes. All content is my responsibility alone.

Lastly, and most importantly, if you’re enjoying the posts here, please leave a like or a comment so I know how I’m doing! I’m very close to 15,000 views and I would love to reach that goal before January 1st, 2018.

Thanks to all my followers and readers! You make this worthwhile!

This picture is my pride and joy. Thank you Eni Oken for this amazing lesson! Tangled Dragons

Tangled dragon image by Cyndee Pelley

Milestones

I had to stop yesterday and breathe, and focus on accomplishments. I am normally frenetic about constantly creating at a high level (that’s a high level for myself not everyone else!) and pretty OCD about getting things done well and on time. Unfortunately, this means I get lost in the journey and forget about the big picture. Me and half the population, right!? Today was a big picture day for me. After slogging along for about 9 months this blog hit 3,000 views and today i had 100 views in about 8 hours. Seems silly but its nice to see your hard work realized even to a small scale.

I wouldn’t be here though, without the encouragement and support of the wonderful people in the Zentangle® Mosaic app, as well as the amazing group of artists and friends at Tangle It! Pattern Club on Facebook. Hmm, this sounds like a bad award dinner speech! Since I’m thanking the academy, let me give a nod first to Barb Masinton for the use of her beautiful art for this post! It’s nice not to need to prepare art for each post and quite honestly her art has been part of the reason my site traffic has been up. It’s simply spectacular! I also wanted to thank Dr. Ellie Miller (who’s off for CZT training next week, Gratz Ellie!🤗) of Tanglesxm.com and Write of Passage. She stuck with me thru a long time during which I couldn’t write or create. We found each other on WordPress then discovered we were both on Mosaic. Since that time, she’s been a true friend in her support and encouragement. Thank you Ellie! I cant forget Terri Delaune, CZT for your help with my pattern submissions. It helps having feedback! Dolly Bolen, CZT, Jody Genovese, CZT, and Sarah Fowler, each of whom have been encouragers, and all of whom created fabulous art using my Patterns so I would be able to showcase them in a variety of ways, thank you all! In honor of their impact on my life, here is some wonderful art by these wonderful ladies! Zentangle is amazing! Everyday, I get visitors from all over the world. April has been my most successful month yet. Thank you all!

Apcorg by Sarah Fowler
Apcorg by Terri Delaune,CZT
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Apcorg By Dolly Bolen,CZT ( a favorite!)

 

Apcross tiles by Terri Delaune, CZT (thank you so much!)
Tangled tile using Apcross by Terri Delaune, CZT
Apcorg by Dr Ellie Miller
Apcross by Dr Ellie Miller
(struggling with this WordPress iOS app. So the photos aren’t set in perfectly and I had 2 duplicates I couldn’t remove without starting over. My quick post changed into a nightmare but I’m still grateful!)

Attitude: Your Zen Starts Here 

Attitude

Our single greatest gift is the freedom to choose our attitude.

Your Attitude is more important than knowledge, education, background, wealth, position, talent or appearance.

It is even more powerful than what other people think, or say or do.

It will make or break a team…a company …a person…a relationship…a home.

I am convinced that life is 5% what happens to me and 95% how I choose to look and react to it.

And so it is with you! Your attitude is your choice! 

Ellen A. Miller 

If you can wrap your mind around this you’ll be way ahead in life. Choose to be positive! This is the way I survived 3 suicides this year and all the drama and pain that came with it. Sometimes when things are desperate it’s the only thing in your control. It seems trite but it’s true. 

Suicide, the Next Chapter

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Nothing could have prepared me for the last 6 weeks. Suicides took a son, a niece, and a dear friend. I haven’t begun to process the first much less the last. My life looked unbelievably bleak and empty. Then God or Karma or Fate intervened. This week I have a 6-year-old boy who has no one and who needs me. Being granted custody of this baby is an unbelievable blessing. Much of my stress has been my fear for him and what was happening to him. Worry about his support system after losing 2 parental figures has been constant. I am not allowed to post his pictures anymore but he is a beautiful soul. Such a sweet, bright and broken child. To be given this responsiblity is immense and yet I believe we will help heal each other. I am no longer sure what this blog is about, but we will find out as we go along. My art is still blocked and will be hard now to find time for but with the little guy we will be doing lots of creative projects.

All of our lives look different from the reality before July 4, 2016. I’m going to have to figure out OUR new reality now. We will remake our reality until we find our joy again.

Thanks for stopping here 🙂

Suicide Cluster?

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This lovely lady is Sherry. She and my Sean were in a year long relationship when he ended his life. This picture is from his funeral on July 10, 2016. Today, August 6, 2016, she was remembered in her own memorial service. Sherry ended her life on Sean’s grave August 2, 2016, leaving a 7 year old son with no parents after making me promise her I’d be here for her son and her mom “in case anything happens”.

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Sherry and Sean’s son Makai

There’s nothing left inside for me. I don’t know how to begin to express feelings about this. Except a lot of anger for her deciding her son “would be fine” without her. I don’t know how to do anything but stare at the wall. I have 4 unfinished blog posts. Many half-finished watercolors. I’m just filled with nothing and pain. Nothing and despair. Nothing and panic. Nothing and tears and nothing. How am I to be here for a child when I’m not here for myself. Everytime I close my eyes I’m waiting for the next person to quit. I don’t blame anyone. I don’t want to keep going either. I feel obligated to post, but don’t want to depress everyone. This is all I’ve got to share though. Nothing.

Simba Sliced! (My Future Mobility Dog; part 4)

I sent Simba out to the country 2 days ago so he could get some exercise with his sire, khan and sister, Athena.  This morning, the family called to say Simba had cut his paw, slicing his radial artery. A few stitches later and he was okay, though if the lady had not been forced home to change her clothes, he could’ve easily bled out. Every time I have that thought I cringe and die a bit inside. He is too closely tied to Sean and we only lost him 3 weeks ago. Sean’s sons that were here with me when we heard of Simba’s injury were panicking too. Makai told me he couldn’t lose Simba after losing daddy. Exactly how I feel about it!

Simba and Makai (brothers and best friends)
Makai was devastated when he heard of Simba’s injury.

Puppy Nala was sent to friends when Simba returned. She is relentless about playing and far too rough for a hurt Simba. Simba has been able to make it outside to potty and kept his food down. We will have to make sure he takes it easy for a few days before the dressing comes off.

Simba and Camden
Simba and Camden after the stressful vet visit.

All of this brought me back to yesterday’s post about expenses and reminded me how vital his health is to me now. And how expensive it will be. Time to do pet insurance before anything else happens! I was also very pleased with his treatment of the veterinarian and the vet tech. He was sweet and compliant and never showed a tooth or growled. That is wonderful information for me.  Further proof of his sweet nature and excellent temperament. The further down this road I go, the more anxious I’m getting about the huge responsibility. That said, I’ve always felt that Simba was worth something special and if I can do this, both our lives will be richer.