I’ve completed my IAST challenge early this week as the challenge was Independence Day themed for those in the USA. As I have needed to crawl under my bed for weeks this time of year, I decided to post today before my eventual hiding takes place. Here is my tile. A heartfelt congratulations go out to Adele Bruno at Tickledtotangle.blogspot.com. This is her 250th challenge!

This is the most difficult holiday for me to handle. 2 years ago, a young man I loved as a son, took his own life setting in place a heart breaking series of events. A month later, his girlfriend took her life and 2 weeks after that I lost a dear friend to suicide. This was the worst year, worst pain, worst losses I’ve experienced. 2 years later, I have very few answers and I’m still very angry. I’m saying this in a public forum to share these few thoughts.

First, suicide is a huge guilt trip for those left behind. We go over and over events wondering how we could have changed things or said something different to save them. Most of the time, we couldn’t have changed it and we have to remember that their choices were not ours. We couldn’t have stopped them. I need to remind myself daily of this!

Second, the pain is something I try to deal with but can’t. It does dull a bit over time but is right there roaring back to consume me at any moment.

Last, it is okay to be angry at their choices. I hope this is true as that is still the way I feel most days.

If someone is telling you they want to make that choice, don’t wait. Call a hotline, get help, take advice from doctors. Do NOT wait and hope for the best. Whether or not they are serious, get help. The National Suicide Prevention Hotline is tel:1-800-273-8255

If you have lost a loved one to suicide, find some useful information here.

Rest In Peace my beautiful Sean.